


Scenes from an Engagement

by TheMuchTooMerryMaiden



Series: The only way that each can help the other [14]
Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Homophobia, Latin, M/M, Ongoing relationship, Swearing, Wedding Planning, discussion of child abuse, discussion of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-25
Updated: 2012-05-31
Packaged: 2017-11-02 12:40:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/369069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMuchTooMerryMaiden/pseuds/TheMuchTooMerryMaiden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of vignettes scattered through the engagement of Robert Lewis and James Hathaway.</p><p>A lot of these are quite short, some a little longer, just bits and pieces covering the time between the proposal and the marriage.  Note I'm choosing to refer to their Civil Partnership as a marriage, because to all intents and purposes it is, it certainly is to them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Did you have a big wedding in mind?” James asked. The question was unexpected; Robbie really hadn’t thought much beyond the heartfelt ‘Yes’ he’d given James on the Millennium Bridge,

“Can’t say I’d thought about it, what do you think?”

“Not sure,” James mused, “I suppose we need to think about the ‘out and proud’ bit. A big wedding would be a definitively flamboyant way of coming out, but I wouldn’t want you or anyone else to think I was embarrassed, so what do you think?”

Robbie found the question difficult to answer, he wasn’t ashamed of James or of them together but he still worried what it would do to James’ career if he was unequivocally ‘out’. It was difficult to say whether it would be worse if he was passed over for promotion or if he always had to wonder whether he was being promoted because he was the force’s political correctness poster boy. And then he thought _I actually wouldn’t like a big flamboyant (and when,_ he wondered, _did my life become something where the adjective ‘flamboyant’ was a possibility) wedding._ Still pondering he mentally replayed the question and it seemed to argue that James didn’t want a big wedding,

“Actually,” Robbie replied, “if you don’t mind I’d rather keep it quiet.”

“I think all we need is just a couple of witnesses and it can be done at the registry office,” James replied, just a little off-hand, and Robbie was suddenly nervous in case he’d misread James, in case James thought Robbie was embarrassed at the thought of marrying him. But he took a deep breath, better to be honest,

“I think I’d like it just to be us really. We’re what’s important. We can nab a couple of passersby to be witnesses, like an old movie!” The look of relief on James’ face was unmistakeable, “So that’s settled is it?” Robbie asked and was answered with a kiss.

 

“What’s your position on the subject of rings?” Robbie asked James one morning, “Do you, should we exchange rings?” James thought about it for a little while before replying,

“Well, at the risk of sounding like I should have backing singers, I’d love to wear your ring. What about you?”

“I’ll see to it,” Robbie replied with a pleased smile.

It took Robbie a long time to find just what he was looking for and longer still to think of an appropriate engraving. He’d decided on Latin, it somehow seemed so James and he knew he wanted it to be something that symbolised the fact that they’d found each other despite the odds. It felt almost like cheating when he resorted to the Internet for ideas. He’d decided on Amor Vincit Omnia(1) before he came across a verse from The Song of Solomon. It was so perfect, one half of the verse on each ring engraved on the inside where it would just be theirs. 

 

It turned out that the paper work involved in retiring was extreme. Week after week there were forms and decisions. One form dealt with what would happen about his pension in the event of his death. It turned out that James would be in a much better financial situation if they were married or civil partnered before Robbie retired, it’s just that it wasn’t an easy issue to raise, not precisely romantic.

Robbie continued to ponder the question for a day or two, trying to find a way to bring it up in conversation that wouldn’t sound morbid. In the end he just blurted it out,

“We need to get married sooner than we thought,” James paused in the reading of his newspaper,

“Why, have I got you in the family way?”

“Ha, bloody ha! No, we just need to do it before I retire; it’s to do with pension rights.”

“What?”

“If we’re married before I retire then you’ll get a much better deal when I die.” James looked like Robbie had just slapped him, “Don’t look like that, bonny lad,” Robbie murmured leaning forward to cup James’ face in his hand, “I’m not planning to go anywhere.” James put down his magazine and reached for Robbie, pulling him bodily into his arms,

“You can’t go anywhere, I won’t let you.”

It was said with a sort of implacable hard edged tone, and Robbie thought briefly that James would make the sort of senior officer that men would follow anywhere and do anything for, before James kissed him. It was a hard, demanding kiss that strangely seemed to have nothing to do with sex and everything to do with ownership and with it protectiveness. 

Eventually Robbie pulled away slightly, and repeated what he had said,

“I’m honestly not planning to die, but James, love, it only makes sense. I’ve paid my dues and ... if something ... happens then I’d like to know you were provided for. Will you let me do this?”

James sat back, pushed Robbie away none too gently and folded his arms across his chest, not tucking himself up small like he usually did when he was upset, his body language clearly advertising his anger,

“If you die, I won’t need providing for,” he stated, biting each word off and staring straight in front, not meeting Robbie’s eyes. Robbie was on his feet and shouting without knowing how he got there,

“What the fuck? What the fuck do ye’ mean by that?”

“What do you think I mean?”

“You’d better not mean what I think you mean!”

“Or what?”

“Or I’m out of here. I mean it James, I won’t have that hanging over me d’ye’ hear? Bloody Hell, James, you honestly think I can cope with that?”

“You won’t have to will you? But you think I should ‘cope’?”

“Fuck this!”

Robbie turned on his heel and walked out. _I need to be away from here_ was his only thought and he’d walked at punishing pace for ten minutes before he even calmed down enough to think beyond unreasoning, blinding anger. Ten minutes later still and with his pace slowed enough that he could catch his breath he began to think his way through the thing. He would have liked it if he could have found a way to see James’ point of view but he couldn’t. It would be unreasonable for James to present him with this ultimatum if dying was likely to be something he had a choice in, as it was it was just bloody ridiculous.

The thing was the age difference was already something that worried him and made him feel vaguely guilty. In his more depressed moments he ‘knew’ that he was all wrong for James, that he was setting the lad up for a world of misery and that he should just walk away however hard that would be. Any bloody thing could happen, he might end up needing to be looked after and James was loyal to a fault, Robbie knew he would never persuade the lad to walk away. But most of the time, when he didn’t let his worries get ahead of him, when he thought about how happy they made each other he knew that they should grab every moment they could and be as happy as they possibly could in that moment and let the future be what it would be.

And now he was presented with this. There was no misinterpreting what James had said and thinking about it again made Robbie just as angry, how dare James threaten him like that because that’s what he’d done, he’d threatened someone he loved with violence, even if that someone was himself. Robbie kept on walking as he pondered what to do about it, his mind going round in circles, circles which lurched to a juddering halt every so often as his imagination served him up images of James, dead, which were not one whit better for the fact that apparently it wasn’t going to happen until he was dead. 

It was some hours before Robbie finally found himself turning in at the path to their flat. He was a little closer to knowing what he was going to say. When he walked into the living room, James was sat in the same place and position he had been in before, the only difference was that instead of looking angry, now he just looked miserable. With a sinking feeling Robbie realised that if he didn’t watch himself he was going to end up giving in on this one, telling James it was all right even though it patently wasn’t, just so he wouldn’t look so miserable. The thought strengthened his resolve,

“So,” he said, “what are ye’ doing? Plotting ways and means? A gun’s quick but a surprising number manage to miss, overdoses tend to be messy, blokes still often choose the rope, what’ll you use, d’ye think? Mesel’ I reckon I’ll slit me wrists, done properly it’s practically impossible to save someone even if someone’s right there, should do the job nicely.”

James looked up so fast that Robbie couldn’t help thinking he must have hurt his neck and that it served him right. “What?” Robbie asked, “Fair’s fair, I don’t suppose I fancy the idea of living on without you any more than you do without me, I’ve done that once, it was bloody awful, no reason for me to do it again that I can see.”

“B b but,” James stammered, paling noticeably despite his usual pallor, “you can’t...”

“Doesn’t feel too good thinking about it, does it?” Robbie asked. James visibly gathered himself together,

“Bugger off. It’s not the same.”

“Why not, because it’s more likely that you’ll be left than me? True I suppose, but then policing’s a dangerous job, never thought I’d bury one spouse, women usually live longer, but I did, if only your solution had seriously occurred to me, would’a saved a load of brandy if nothing else. Course we’d never have met, but you don’t miss things you’ve never had, I’m sure you’d have been fine, better probably.”

Robbie sat back and picked up the newspaper that James had been reading all those hours ago. He wasn’t reading the newspaper; he couldn’t have told whether he even had the damn thing the right way up, not when all of him was focussed on what James was thinking. It didn’t last long. Robbie could hear James get up and sit precariously on the coffee table opposite before he oiked the paper out of his hands,

“I’m sorry, you’re right. I won’t do ... anything stupid, but you have to promise me that you won’t either. The thing about the pension cuts both ways you know, so you’re right we need to do this before too long.” James was smiling at him shyly, the apology clear to read from his face. Robbie grinned back,

“Come on, bonny lad, I can think of something much more life-affirming we could be doing!” and he stood up and took James’ hand leading him towards their room.

* * *

(1) Amor vincit omnia: Love conquers all. For the inscription he did decide on, you'll have to wait!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not a light and fluffy chapter, it contains extreme expressions of homophobia and might very well be triggery to read. Don't say you haven't been warned.

It wasn’t often that one of them was at work when the other wasn’t, but that afternoon Robbie had been in a meeting and James had taken off early with the intention of beginning to pack up his flat. The timing of everything had been a problem that had been occupying them of late. Their decision to be married before Robbie retired had thrown everything up in the air, they had to do it late enough that James wouldn’t be transferred but soon enough that everything was sorted out with both pensions. It was a conundrum, Robbie had almost decided to seek advice from his federation rep but he knew that nobody gossips like a policeman gossips, it would probably be less out in the open if he just went to speak to Innocent and ask her. 

They had agreed that Robbie would join James at his flat and give him a hand after work. Robbie liked the feeling of going home to James, unusual though it was and he was whistling quietly to himself as he opened the front door to hear raised voices,

“So, is it true?” Robbie was instantly back in work mode, taking note of details, assessing the situation, it was an unfamiliar, older, female voice, local accent,

“Is what true?” James’ voice, clearly distressed to Robbie’s anxious ear, though he wasn’t sure whether anyone else would be able to hear it, the lad was clearly trying to remain calm and making a good job of it,

“Don’t try and be clever with me, you little sod, it was our bloody hard work that paid for your fancy education,” the woman’s voice again, rising in pitch as she worked herself up, “You know damn well what I’m talking about!”

It was clear to Robbie that this must be James’ mother, and he hadn’t a clue what to do in this situation. Robbie knew what she was going on about, but what he didn’t know was how James wanted to handle this and how much worse he might make things by barrelling into the situation, so he elected to carry on listening,

“No, it wasn’t,” James said distinctly,

“No it wasn’t, what?” she asked, and Robbie wondered if she’d been drinking, seeing as how the conversation seemed to be getting away from her,

“It wasn’t you who paid for my education,” there was a defeated tone to James’ voice, a tone that told Robbie that this was far from being the first time he’d had this conversation with one or other of his parents,

“Oh, you think? You think you’d have been able to go to that fancy bloody school if we hadn’t forked out for uniform, boy. We shouldn’t have bothered; all it was good for was turning out poofs!”

At that point Robbie moved forward, not prepared to listen to James being abused like that, but James’ reply brought him up short,

“That’s not what you said when I went into the seminary, was it?”

“That was when I thought you’d turn it all to some good,”

Even from out in the hall Robbie could feel the change in the atmosphere in the room, James’ next words were very quiet and very distinct,

“Turn all what to some good?”

“All your education, all the money we spent on you...”

Robbie could hear the bluster in her voice and in the rapidity of her answer and in the way it petered out. James spoke again,

“That’s not what you meant at all...”

He was interrupted,

“Don’t come your bloody copper tricks with me, you little shit, what am I, a bloody suspect?” 

Again, Robbie could hear the guilt in her voice, could hear that she was trying to turn the conversation back to James being at fault to cover up for her own culpability. At the ‘you little shit’ comment Robbie decided that enough was enough, but James’ voice brought him up short again,

“You knew. I knew that he did, but you knew as well. Fuck.”

“What are you going on about?” she asked,

“You knew what he was doing and you didn’t do anything to stop it.”

“I knew nothing,” she replied.

Robbie could hear James getting up and decided that he really needed to intervene in the argument, even if he was going to make things worse and he walked into the room trying very hard to give the impression that he hadn’t been eavesdropping for the last five minutes. Both of the occupants of the room turned to look at him as he went in,

“Hiya, James,” he said, smiling, trying to put all his love and support into that expression, “sorry, I didn’t realise you had a visitor.” Smiling at this woman, after he’d heard what he’d heard was incredibly difficult, but he managed it, “You must be James’ mother, I’d know you for related anywhere.” He walked slightly towards her and held a hand out to shake hers. It amused him to see her pull her hand out of the way. _Ah_ , he thought, _she thinks it’s catching!_

Without apparently noticing he moved back instead to stand with James, close enough that it would be obvious that they were together but without touching him, he wanted in no way to imply that James needed his support in dealing with his mother.

James apparently had other thoughts on the matter and he leaned closer to Robbie and kissed him on the cheek, remaining closer as he spoke,

“Mum, this is Robbie, my fiancé,” James would have carried on but she interrupted him,

“Your what?”

“My fiancé, it means we’re going to get married, probably fairly soon, I’m assuming you don’t want an invite?”

“Jesus, Joseph and Mary! You haven’t even the decency to keep your perverted ways private have you? What did I do to deserve you as a son?”

Robbie couldn’t help himself any longer,

“You do not speak to him like that in his own home. Do I make myself clear? You couldn’t possibly deserve James.”

She turned her focus on Robbie. He could see that she’d been drinking, but not so much that he could write off what she was saying as drunken rambling,

“I suppose it’s you I’ve got to blame for this, is it? What, there aren’t any bloody queers yer own age? Yer all the bloody same, always looking for a young lad, bloody paedophiles!”

Robbie could feel James tensing up, about to turn to his defence and he reached out a restraining hand to catch at his arm,

“Statistically, paedophiles are much more likely to be heterosexual, just so as you know, and I do think that’s a bit rich coming from someone who basically pimped out her young son, even if it was to keep a roof over her family’s head.” He took a deep breath to continue but she interrupted him,

“How dare you suggest any such thing? He wanted it, you should have seen him flirting, bloody poof all along,”

Robbie suddenly felt himself go beyond angry, beyond where he had any control over himself and if it hadn’t been for James holding tightly to his arm he would have punched her. The clutch from James was all it took though to bring him back to himself, to an icy cold fury that he knew would not erupt in violence,

“He was a child. I think I can see it that much more clearly now. He was a child who knew his parents didn’t understand him and couldn’t love him because of the way he was born; there was probably only one person who showed him any comfort. Congratulations Mrs Hathaway, you made your son into the perfect victim and then lived off the proceeds. You should go now. If you come near James again I’ll have you up on charges so fast your head will spin. Get out.”

She was game, he’d give her that, she didn’t hurry, she stood up slowly and fixed James with a steady gaze,

“You’ll let your queer bastard boyfriend talk to your mother like that?” she asked.

James replied, steadily, close as he was to him Robbie could actually feel James relax as he spoke,

“Yes. It’s wanted saying for a while. You could have stopped him, you could have looked after me you didn’t, and to be honest I don’t really care how anyone speaks to you. You need to leave now. Goodbye.”

She stalked out of the room and down the small hallway and Robbie followed behind, locking the door as she left in silence. Robbie took a moment or two, now the adrenaline was dying away he was worried, painfully worried, that he had handled it all wrong, that he should have tried to be a peacemaker between the two of them, surely James would regret falling out with his mother, wouldn’t it become a problem later. 

When he got back into the living room James was sat with his head in his hands and for a second Robbie thought that he must be crying, but as he came further into the room James looked up and smiled,

“Thank you,” he said simply, “I’ve been trying to please her and failing for all of my life and without you I would have carried on going back to be kicked. Thank you for letting me see her as you did.”

Robbie could feel his throat closing up, certainly too much for him to be able to speak at all and so instead he pulled James into his arms and kissed him.


	3. Chapter 3

“Suits,” James suddenly said one Friday evening as they were sat slumped together watching a panel show.

“Pardon?” Robbie replied, shifting slightly to look at James.

“We should have matching suits for the ceremony,” James clarified. 

Robbie was a little taken aback, they’d decided on a very low-key ceremony, the minimum, legal signing of the documents and he couldn’t see how matching suits fitted into that.

“Really?” he asked,

“Yes, really, we could get something bespoke, what do you say?”

“I say that if we both get the same suit made you’re going to look a million dollars and I’ll still look like something the rag-chap should be hauling away.”

Robbie realised that he shouldn’t have said that before he’d even managed to close his mouth, he could feel James tense up next to him and see the faint flush of anger colour James’ cheeks,

“So we’re back to that again are we?” James asked with a resigned tone of voice that did not successfully cover the anger he was feeling, “Are you ever going to stop harping on about ...” James was clearly struggling to find the words and even though a large part of Robbie really did not want to have an argument tonight another part of him did,

“Harping on about what, the age difference, the fact that you’re so far out of my league I can only just see you in the distance? The problem is, bonny lad, that it’s true. Sometimes I can’t help but think you’ll come to your senses.” Robbie tried to soften what he’d said with a smile but it seemed that James was not in the mood to be mollified,

“Does it really worry you that much?” James asked and while the words could have been a neutral question Robbie was more than aware that they were not,

“What, the differences between us? No, they don’t bother me at all...”

James interrupted,

“And yet you go on about these supposed differences.” James took a deep breath and Robbie knew an urge to kiss him, not because he wanted to kiss him but because he wanted him not to say what he was going to say. While he was trying to decide what to do James continued, “It’s like you don’t trust me, like you don’t trust me not to find myself a ‘newer model’.”

 _Bugger,_ Robbie thought, _I should have known._

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, love, it’s just that, bloody hell James, you’re so ...” Robbie paused looking for the right word only to be interrupted by James,

“Repressed? Socially inept? Damaged? Smart-arsed? Male?”

“Oh, give over. What are you talking about, man?” 

James reached over and grabbed Robbie’s hand and after a moment Robbie returned the grasp, tightening his hold, and staring at their linked fingers as James replied,

“I’m talking about all the reasons you would be better finding yourself a better bet for a husband or a wife.”

“Seriously?”

“About as serious as you are, sir. You have to stop looking for the ways this can all go wrong. It isn’t going to. I have never; will never love anyone like I love you. I know that you love me. I’m not perfect, you’re not perfect, but we’re perfect together.”

Robbie looked up into James’ eyes and James continued,

“Come on to bed, and let me show you.”

James stood up and pulled Robbie to his feet after him. James tugged at him once more but Robbie held his ground, instead pulling James into his arms and kissing him. He pulled back slightly and then leaned in again to rest his forehead on James’ shoulder,

“It’s a lesson that we’ll both keep having to teach each other, isn’t it?”

“What,” James asked,

“That each of us deserves love, that we deserve each other.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little interlude!


	4. Chapter 4

“What about Mark?” James asked one evening and Robbie could instantly tell that this was a question that had been occupying James’ mind for a while,

“What about him?” Robbie knew it was a prevarication but he also knew that James wasn’t going to like the answer and he was craven enough to buy himself just a few extra moments of calm. James didn’t reply verbally, merely turning a direct gaze on Robbie who couldn’t for the life in him find a way to frame his response. In the end James continued,

“Have you actually spoken to him?”

“No, our Lynn got in before me,” Robbie replied looking down, not wanting to see James’ expression. 

James sighed,

“Did you,” he paused, “did you ask her to talk to him for you?”

“No I didn’t I intended to speak to him myself, it’s just that Lyn got there first. I don’t think the conversation went that well.” He sighed, running his hands through his hair, “I know I need to talk to him but I’ll admit that I’ve been putting it off.”

A few months ago, hell a few weeks ago Robbie knew that James would have been worried by this, worried that Robbie was in some way ashamed of him or ashamed of them, it was a great feeling of relief and satisfaction to him that James had finally begun to accept that he was loved, that nothing could be farther from the truth than the idea that Robbie might be ashamed of him. Robbie knew that James was only concerned because making the call was worrying him,

“Why don’t you ring him now, get it over with?” James asked. Robbie looked unenthusiastic and James continued, “Seriously, if you do it now then I’m here for you to talk it through with, I’d rather you weren’t doing this on your own sometime if it doesn’t go well.”

“You’re sure? I can’t guarantee that he won’t be … unhappy about it all.”

“He’s hardly likely to be as unimpressed as my mother; I think I can stand it.”

Having retrieved his phone from his jacket pocket, Robbie settled himself down at the opposite end of the sofa and scrolled through his contacts until he found Mark’s number, then he took a deep breath and rang it. When the call went through Robbie immediately stood up and started pacing and James could tell from that and from his voice quite how nervous he was. James couldn’t help being a little tense during the call and he tried not to invent the other half of the conversation, he wanted to be there to support Robbie, but he felt like an eavesdropper,

“Hiya, Mark, it’s your dad … Yeah, Lynn said she’d spoken to you … Well it was a bit of a surprise to me too … Of course I did, I never once looked at anyone else … He would never and I would never, I loved your mam … I’m sorry Mark but your mam’s dead … yes, I know you know that, obviously … she wouldn’t have wanted me to be miserable … yes, not being with him would make me miserable … because, well because we want to officially belong together … Look, Mark, I love him, that’s why … Of course I do, ye’ daft sod, don’t ever doubt that … that’s not a fair question to ask … it’s not a matter of choosing, having James doesn’t mean losing you unless you make it mean that … well, I’m glad that’s not what you meant … in about a month, just before I retire … well, I’m near enough sixty, most people don’t stick with the job that long … that was the other thing I wanted to ask you, will your be coming to my retirement bash … Saturday the 25th at the Oddfellow’s Hall … yeah, there’s a few of us going at the same time, made sense to hire somewhere big … well, I hope you can make it, Lynn’ll be there … I love you Mark, I really haven’t said that enough … Right, see you then.”

Robbie hung up. James looked over at him, eyebrows raised. Robbie answered the unasked question,

“Well, he didn’t take it that badly, I suppose. It was always going to be a shock to his system wasn’t it?”

“I suppose so.” James was chewing at his thumbnail, staring off into the distance. On some levels Robbie didn’t want to know what was worrying him but he knew that if he wasn’t asked James would continue to wind himself up about whatever it was,

“Do you want to know what he said?” Robbie asked,

“I think I could work most of it out,” James answered but still with that air of abstraction, still with his thumbnail between his teeth.

“Something’s bothering you though isn’t it?”

“No, really, I’m fine, honestly.” Robbie watched James pull himself together, covering up his concern with a well executed calm, relaxed demeanour. Robbie was not having any of it,

“Nice try, sunshine, but you’re not that good of an actor and I’m not that stupid an idiot. Seriously,” he said as he dropped to the sofa and beckoned James closer, “tell me what’s bothering you.”

James moved up but leaned into Robbie in such a way that Robbie couldn’t see his face and James couldn’t see his. James sighed and Robbie could feel him relax just a little before he began to speak.

“You know when we were in Manchester?”

“Yeah,” Robbie replied, quickly going through his recollection of the side trip to Lynn’s on their way up to Newcastle, “Lynn didn’t say anything to you, did she?”

“No, no, it’s not that,” James said hurriedly, “she was fantastic, I couldn’t have asked for a better response.” James paused, clearly trying to find a way to say what he needed to say, “When you two were washing up and I was left with Eve, I promised her that I wouldn’t take you away, that if her mother couldn’t deal with the idea then I’d walk away.” There was a long pause, “If ‘us’ is going to come between you and Mark then…”

Robbie interrupted, trying hard to keep his tone neutral,

“Do I get any say?”

“Of course you do, but…”

“But what?”

James took a couple of deep breaths before he replied,

“But I don’t want you to end up feeling guilty or end up regretting what we’ve been to each other; I don’t think I could stand that.”

Robbie’s first thought was that this was James’ old insecurity flaring up again but a moment’s consideration showed him that this was subtly different. James spoke again interrupting his train of thought,

“I don’t want to cost you anything, you should have everything, you deserve everything,” and abruptly James turned and pulled Robbie into a needy almost harsh kiss, pushing him back and down and moving to nip and suck at his throat and collar bones. 

Robbie wanted, really wanted to just let James continue but after a few moments and before they could both of them get too carried away he gently pushed James away and pulled himself back into a sitting position,

“I’m not going anywhere, love, you don’t need to go at me like you’ll never see me again, I’m not going anywhere.”

James looked down clearly embarrassed.

“I’m not going to lie to you and say that Mark was radiantly happy about the whole thing, but he’ll get there. Lynn and him aren’t kids anymore, James, they don’t need me like they used to. You couldn’t ‘cost’ me anything James, not anything that was worth having. And if you did shouldn’t I be the one who gets to count the cost, do the, what was it Innocent called it the other day, the cost-benefit analysis?”

“I just don’t want ever to make you unhappy.”

“Oh god, James, no one can make promises like that, there’ll be times when we make each other unhappy, there’ll be times when we make each other incandescently angry, there’ll be far more times when we make each other happy. There are no guarantees in this life, love, but I do know that I’d be miserably unhappy without you.”

Robbie sat up properly and then continued,

“Come on, I very much want you to continue what you just started but my old bones are too old for necking on the sofa, let’s go to bed.”

Robbie could see that James was only halfway convinced, but then he reckoned he could work on that.

 

“Well, I can’t say I haven’t been expecting this,” she closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. Without opening her eyes she continued, “How long ... no wait ... when James was ill? Am I right?”

“Yes, ma’am,” they replied in unison. 

“Hell, Robbie! I told you to be careful; this was exactly what I meant.”

“With respect ma’am,”

“Nothing good ever comes from a sentence that starts ‘With respect ma’am’,” she said warningly but Robbie continued, 

“It’s not really that long actually, we’ve only been together, together since just before Easter and...”

She interrupted,

“The week’s leave you both took in March?”

“Yes.”

“So what are we going to do about this?”

“To be honest, I was hoping you’d wish us happy,” he said fingers crossed that he hadn’t misjudged the situation. He watched as she tried to keep a straight face for a moment or two before moving round her desk to hug them both. Robbie kept his amusement at James’ blush to himself. Finally she pushed them both away, minutely adjusting her hair to give herself time to regain her composure,

“So I say again, what are we going to do about this?”

James spoke for the first time,

“We were hoping that nothing would be done about this, Robbie’s only got a couple more weeks before he officially retires, if you absolutely insist he can take his leave accruing, but ideally we’d like to carry on as we are.”

“Then why did you tell me?”

This time it was Robbie’s turn to blush,

“Well, we didn’t like keeping it a secret from you and we needed to sort out mi’ pension situation...”

She interrupted,

“So I was going to find out anyway. It’s understandable, I suppose, James would be in a much better financial situation...”

James interrupted her,

“Let’s not talk about that, shall we?” he asked, and Innocent looked between the two of them,

“No, I don’t suppose that conversation went that much better than this one,” she paused and Robbie forced himself not to hold his breath, “it should be fine, mind,” she said looking back at them, “if anything big comes up in the next two weeks I’ll have to review the situation. What have you got planned?”

“Just the registry on Saturday morning...”

“Not making a big fuss then? Who else knows, and don’t try and tell me no one, I won’t believe you.”

Robbie glanced round at James, who answered,

“Dr Hobson worked it out early doors ma’am, worked out that we were together I mean, but really no one knows about Saturday, well apart from Robbie’s son and daughter, again they know about the two of us but not about Saturday.”

“How did they take it, if you don’t mind me asking? If, god forbid, something happens to one of you in the next two weeks I need to know if grieving relatives will turn into litigious relatives.”

“Lynn was fine, Mark a bit less so, but he’ll get there in the end.”

“So you were just going to sneak away and do the deed with no one the wiser, what were you going to do, accost a passing tourist or two and ask them to be witnesses? Like some 1940s black and white melodrama?”

“Well,” James replied, “We,”

But again Innocent interrupted,

“Well, we can’t have that, can we, I can be one of the witnesses and Laura can be the other, you should have someone there.”

“But ma’am,” Robbie paused looking apprehensively at James, “if something does go wrong, ye’ll not be able to claim you didn’t know, we neither of us want to make this any more problematic for you,”

“Nonsense, it’s not like I could really pretend I didn’t know, what time is it on Saturday?”

Robbie glanced round at James, who had a somewhat bemused look on his face but shrugged his agreement,

“10.45, we’d be honoured to have you there,” Robbie replied, blinking rapidly at a very unexpected prickling in his eyes, “We’ll meet you outside at 10.30.”

Back outside Innocent’s office they turned to each other,

“That went well,” James said, “which of us is going to talk to Laura?”

“Oh, I think the Chief Super will already have taken care of that for us!”


End file.
